
Meeting your partner's parents for the first time can be nerve-wracking—and the pressure only worsens if you cook for them. First impressions matter, and while they might politely smile through anything you serve, certain meals might not land the way you hope.
Some meals come with strong smells, messy plating, or bold flavors that can easily backfire—turning an already tense evening into an awkward memory. That’s why choosing the right dish matters more than you might think.
Why the Menu Matters
You're not just cooking—you're creating a moment. The wrong dish can add tension, spark awkward conversation, or leave a lasting (and not-so-great) memory.
Think about meals that are easy to eat, comforting, and not too flashy or divisive. You don’t need to play it safe, just smart. A little planning can help you hit that sweet spot between impressive and inviting.
Here’s what to keep in mind when picking the perfect dish:
- Avoid strong odors: Think twice about pungent ingredients that might linger in the air.
- Steer clear of messy meals: Anything that drips, splatters, or requires finger-licking can get awkward fast.
- Watch for dietary landmines: Shellfish or spicy ingredients may not sit well with picky or sensitive eaters.
- Don’t go too gourmet: Exotic or unfamiliar dishes can be intimidating rather than impressive.
- Keep plating simple: You don’t want to be in the kitchen stressing over perfect presentation.
- Choose warm and familiar: Comfort foods like pasta bakes, roasted chicken, or a cozy stew are always safe bets.
Now that we’ve covered the ground rules, let’s dig into the dishes you’ll want to skip—at least for this first big dinner.
Saucy, Sloppy, and Just Too Messy
These dishes are delicious but disastrous at the dinner table. From sauces that splatter to foods that require a pile of napkins, they’re risky picks when trying to keep things neat and comfortable.
1. Spaghetti with Sloppy Sauce
It’s messy, splatters, and hard to eat without making a scene. Between slurping noodles and dodging tomato stains, this dish could turn a polite dinner into a laundry emergency.
Spaghetti is a comfort food favorite, but it's not known for its elegance. It's tough to twirl gracefully, and the sauce flies onto clothes, napkins, and even walls. If you’re hoping for a calm, tidy meal with good conversation, this one might sabotage your efforts.
2. Super Spicy Chili
A fire-breathing bowl of chili might be your specialty, but it’s risky. You don’t know their spice tolerance, and a coughing fit mid-meal won’t win you any points.
Even a small amount of heat can trigger watering eyes, red faces, or worse—an early end to the meal. Unless you're absolutely sure they love spice, this dish is more of a gamble than a gesture.
3. Anything That Requires Eating with Hands
Wings, ribs, or lobster tails might be delicious, but they’re messy. Unless you're aiming for a shared napkin experience, it's best to go fork-friendly.
Finger foods can be awkward when trying to make a good impression. Greasy fingers, sauce under the nails, and the hunt for wet wipes don’t exactly encourage relaxed conversation.
4. Heavy Stews or Gumbo
Rich and hearty, yes. But also hard to plate, often spicy, and can look unappetizing to the unfamiliar.
These dishes can seem like a warm gesture, but their appearance may not appeal to everyone. Thick, brownish stews don’t always photograph—or plate—well, and the unfamiliar mix of ingredients might turn some folks off before the first bite.
5. DIY Taco Night
Taco Tuesdays are fun—but a buffet-style meal with too many moving parts can get chaotic. Keep it simple and seated.
Tacos might seem like an interactive, festive idea, but when everyone's fumbling for toppings and dripping salsa on the table, the vibe shifts quickly. Stick to something that can be served plated and passed, not built at the table.
Pungent, Polarizing, or Just Plain Stinky
Big flavors can be memorable—but not always in a good way. These dishes bring bold smells and strong opinions, which might not be the welcome you're hoping for.
6. Deviled Eggs with a Twist
Deviled eggs might seem like a safe appetizer, but unusual versions with curry or overly tangy mustard can backfire.
Their strong sulfur smell also fills the room quickly, which isn't ideal when you're trying to set a warm and welcoming tone. Stick to the basics or skip them altogether if you're unsure.
7. Tuna Casserole
Tuna is a divisive ingredient. That oceanic aroma can be off-putting to some, and reheated fish is rarely a crowd-pleaser.
Even if it's creamy and nostalgic for you, others may see it as bland or suspiciously smelly. It's one of those dishes that can trigger memories—for better or worse.
8. Garlic-Heavy Pasta
Garlic is delicious, but it lingers. No one wants to spend an evening conversing with breath that could peel paint.
Even if the dish tastes amazing, the aftermath can last for hours. It's not the kind of thing you want lingering in your mouth—or the room—when trying to make a graceful impression.
9. Brussel Sprouts (Especially Roasted)
These little guys pack a sulfurous punch. Even when caramelized to perfection, the smell alone can be a dinner downer.
Roasted Brussels sprouts release a distinct odor that can fill the house quickly. They're a hard sell, especially when someone walks through the door and catches a whiff.
10. Anchovy Anything
Anchovies are salty, intense, and deeply polarizing. If they’re not already fans, this won’t be the dish to convert them.
That bold, briny flavor works in small doses—but it’s still a risk. Most people have strong opinions about anchovies, and very few of them fall in the middle.
11. Fermented Foods
Sauerkraut, kimchi, natto—these are strong in flavor and smell. You don’t want the house to reek before dessert.
Fermented foods are healthy, sure, but they often come with an acquired taste and a reputation for clearing a room. Save the probiotics for another day.
12. Super Stinky Cheeses
Think Limburger or Epoisses. If it smells like feet, it’s not exactly setting the mood for a pleasant evening.
These cheeses might be gourmet, but they also come with a warning label. When trying to charm your in-laws, it's better to leave the funk in the fridge.
Unfamiliar, Unusual, or Just Too Much
Adventurous cooking has its place, but a first dinner with your in-laws isn’t it. These choices may feel exciting, but they might land as uncomfortable or even off-putting.
13. Sushi You Made Yourself
Unless you’re a trained sushi chef, skip it. Homemade raw fish is a gamble, and nobody wants to risk food poisoning while making small talk.
Even if the fish is fresh, the preparation and storage require strict standards. If anything feels off, the rest of the night could be spent apologizing—or worse, making a trip to urgent care.
14. Liver and Onions
This classic dish has fallen out of favor for a reason—it’s an acquired taste. It has a strong smell and flavor, and there's a strong chance they’ll hate it.
The liver has a grainy texture and metallic taste that many people find off-putting. Even if it’s cooked well, the aroma alone can stir up childhood kitchen trauma.
15. Exotic Meats
Frog legs, alligator bites, or rattlesnakes might be exciting for you—but they could come off as bizarre or even offensive to more traditional eaters.
Some guests may feel squeamish or uncomfortable even before the dish hits the table. It's a fine line between adventurous and alarming, and this category often tips the scale.
16. Game Meat
Venison, boar, or pheasant might be a delicacy in some circles, but they also have bold flavors and moral baggage for others.
The strong, earthy taste of wild meats isn’t for everyone. Plus, if your in-laws aren't hunters, they may be more disturbed than impressed by what’s on their plate.
17. Bizarre Fusions
Kimchi lasagna? Sushi burritos? Fusion food can be exciting, but when you're trying to make a good impression, familiarity wins.
These dishes often try to do too much at once, making them seem confusing rather than clever—especially to guests who didn’t grow up with either cuisine.
18. DIY Pizza with Unusual Toppings
Letting everyone make their own sounds fun until someone ends up with anchovies and pineapple. Save the bonding for a board game.
The pressure to customize toppings on the spot can feel awkward. Instead of relaxing, your in-laws might just be politely wondering how to avoid the squid ink drizzle.
Overly Trendy or Intimidating
Trendy dishes may look impressive, but they can appear pretentious or confusing. Keeping things simple and recognizable is usually the safer bet.
19. Anything Too Fancy or Fussy
You want to impress, not intimidate. A five-layer reduction over truffle foam might make them feel uncomfortable—or worse, judged.
Complicated dishes can feel more like a performance than a meal. If your guests can’t pronounce the ingredients or don’t know what they’re eating, you may accidentally create distance instead of warmth.
20. Kale Smoothie Bowls
They may be health-conscious, but introducing your in-laws to blended kale with hemp seeds might not be the warmest welcome.
Smoothie bowls scream wellness influencer, not home-cooked comfort. It’s a risky choice that could leave your guests wondering when the real meal will begin.
21. Breakfast-for-Dinner Experiments
Pancake tacos or cereal-crusted chicken? Creative, yes. But your future in-laws might wonder if you can cook a regular meal.
Breakfast for dinner can feel a bit too casual or quirky, especially if the flavors are unexpected. Save the fun food experiments for weekend brunch with friends.
22. Dishes That Are Too "Trendy"
Avocado foam, activated charcoal buns, or deconstructed salads might be popular on Instagram but may leave older guests confused and hungry.
Trendy food often prioritizes style over substance. You want your in-laws to feel welcomed and full, not puzzled and peckish.
23. Quinoa Casseroles
Light and fluffy? Sometimes. Dry and disappointing? More often. Not the best way to show off your kitchen skills.
Quinoa can be tricky to cook well, and not everyone enjoys its slightly nutty texture. If your casserole ends up bland or grainy, it’s unlikely to impress.
Awkward to Assemble or Hard to Eat
Food should bring people together, not cause stress at the table. These picks require too much hands-on effort or are tough to handle gracefully during dinner conversation.
24. Raw Onion-Laced Salads
Crunchy, sharp, and pungent—raw onions have a way of overpowering everything, including conversation.
They linger on the breath and dominate the dish's flavor, making it hard to enjoy anything else. If you're hoping for light and refreshing, try a milder mix without the bite.
25. Dishes that Require Assembly at the Table
Whether it's spring rolls or lettuce wraps, anything that makes your guests work at dinner can come off as awkward.
No one wants to fumble with fillings or spill sauce while trying to keep the conversation flowing. Keep the focus on connecting, not constructing.
Recommended Dishes to Serve Instead
These meal ideas are warm, welcoming, and easy to love—even for picky eaters or traditional palates. They strike the perfect balance between comfort and care without overwhelming your guests.
- Roasted Chicken with Vegetables: A timeless classic that’s hearty, flavorful, and hard to mess up. It offers a comforting balance of protein and veggies, and its familiar aroma feels like home.
- Baked Ziti or Lasagna: These hearty, cheesy pasta dishes are deeply satisfying. They are easy to prepare ahead of time and reheat well without sacrificing flavor or texture.
- Herb-roasted pork Tenderloin: This tenderloin is juicy, tender, and easy to slice for guests. It’s flavorful without being overwhelming and pairs well with various sides, like roasted potatoes or green beans.
- Salmon with Rice and Asparagus: Light, elegant, and flavorful. It’s a healthy, no-fuss option that feels restaurant-worthy without being intimidating.
- Chicken Pot Pie: The ultimate comfort food, wrapped in a flaky crust. It’s warm, filling, and perfect for showcasing your cooking skills in a cozy, approachable way.
- Butternut Squash Soup with a Side Salad: A velvety, subtly sweet, and perfect for cooler seasons. Pair it with a fresh, crisp salad and crusty bread for a light but satisfying meal.
Stick with meals that say, "I wanted you to feel welcome," not "I wanted to test your culinary limits."
The Importance of Considering Family Style vs. Plated Dinner
When planning a meal for your in-laws, how you serve it matters just as much as what’s on the menu. Choosing between family style and plated dinner can shape the entire experience—setting the tone, affecting the flow of conversation, and even influencing how comfortable everyone feels.
Family Style Dinner
A family-style dinner—where dishes are placed in the center of the table for everyone to serve themselves—creates a warm, welcoming atmosphere. It naturally fosters connection, encourages conversation, and gives the evening a cozy, relaxed vibe. This approach also allows your in-laws to choose exactly what and how much they want to eat, which is helpful if you're unsure about their preferences. It takes some pressure off the host, too, since the meal feels more communal and easygoing.
Just be mindful of table space and serving logistics. Choose dishes that are easy to pass and serve, and arrange the table thoughtfully so everything fits comfortably without crowding the place settings.
Plated Dinner
Plated dinners bring a polished, elegant touch to the table. Each guest receives a beautifully presented plate, showing care and thought in the preparation. This setup is ideal if you aim to impress with your cooking or want a more structured, formal experience. It also keeps things tidy and streamlined—no need to juggle dishes or pass platters around.
Still, this style can feel a bit stiff, especially in a casual or cozy setting. It might even create some unspoken pressure for guests to eat everything, even if they’re not in the mood. It also requires more effort behind the scenes, both in timing and plating. But if presentation is important to you, or you're serving something delicate or special, it can be a lovely way to show appreciation and effort.
Ultimately, the best choice depends on your goals for the evening—whether you’re hoping to create an inviting, homey vibe or impress with thoughtful details. Either way, your care and effort will shine through.
Play It Safe, Win Them Over
You don’t need to dazzle your in-laws with culinary wizardry. Instead, aim for something comforting and familiar—roast chicken, creamy pasta, or a hearty soup can work wonders.
Ask about allergies or preferences ahead of time, keep the setting cozy, and let your kindness shine through. It’s not about impressing them with exotic ingredients—it’s about showing that you care.